Sunday, January 18, 2009

Stepford Wife Neighborhood Hell

A hilarious story about a woman that created a commotion when she placed various mannequin heads on her property. This offended the delicate sensibilities of the local sisterhood. Did they confront the offending lady and express their displeasure? No. They did what most strong and independent women do - they called the government for help.

Anyone that has lived in suburbia knows that it is populated by these hideous busybodies (invariably women) who think they know best how their neighbors should live their lives. Typically, neighborhood covenants are formed to prevent any variation of style from the norm. God forbid if anyone should ever have a thought or style that is outside what is fashionable at the moment.

So the neighborhood women picked up their phones and bitched to the City Councilman and the police. (Luckily, crime must be almost non-existent for the police to spend so much time on this mannequin head case.)

The City Councilman, Jack Benson, should have told the women to shut up and mind their own business. However, he could not resist the opportunity to ride in on his white horse to save these poor damsels in distress. He adopted the appropriate indignation and stated that something must be done “for the children’s sake”. (I often wonder how these saps can spout these clich├ęs with a straight face.)

The police have charged her with littering and disturbing the peace, so all should end well. The little proto-fascists can rest easy knowing they protected the neighborhood from mannequin heads on the roof.

No comments:

Post a Comment