Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Vagina Day!

Ahhh… Valentine’s Day. Somehow over the years this holiday has morphed in Vagina’s Day. This has become another hallmark Holiday designed to shame men into spending elaborate amounts of money in an attempt to appease women. The irony is that the less you need to spend on a woman, the better the relationship.

Anyway, below is a typical expert “advice” comment geared to women complaining about men on Valentine’s Day. It seems we men don’t spend enough on women.

This article also reminds me of the JC Penny’s Christmas ad designed to shame men into buying expensive jewelry. I created a video in response that received some attention in Canada’s largest newspaper. (see below)

Ahhh, February 14. Hearts, roses, and reservations. Sounds romantic, but let's get real here, ladies: V-Day can be anything but victorious. And who do we have to thank for that? M-E-N. Okay, besides the three guys on earth who come up with creative dinner ideas and adorable trips in advance, most of the male species disappoints. From terrible gifts to a sudden case of amnesia, many of us are left hanging... even those of us who think Valentine's is the cheesiest day of the year. Read on for more cringeworthy moves.

1. Saying he doesn't believe in hokey commercial holidays two seconds after you've given him a cute card.

2. Telling you, "We're never going to be able to get a dinner reservation tonight because it's stupid Valentine's Day."

3. Giving you supermarket flowers.

4. Emailing you the morning of the 14th to say, "Hey, so what are you up to tonight?" He's not asking you out, just wondering if you'll be out with someone else.

5. Taking you to a fast-food drive-through, then renting "Basic Instinct" and inviting you back to his dorm room/shady apartment to watch it with his roommate.

6. Making you a lame heart-shaped card cut from notebook paper with "IOU one gift" written on it.

7. Insisting on treating you to a lavish dinner and ordering tons of appetizers, and the priciest entrees. Then when the bill comes, Loverboy asks if you can throw in, say, 80 bucks or so.

8. Setting tentative plans but not telling you exactly what time he's picking you up or where you're going. Then -- surprise! -- at 9:45, he tells you he's stuck at work, then says, "You're not mad, are you?"

9. Then telling you before he hangs up, "Look, I really wanna make it up to you," but not bothering to nail down a date.

10. Dumping you the day before because he didn't want to torment you by going through the motions. (At least you could've gotten one last fancy meal out of the deal.)

11. Buying you chocolates the day after V-Day because the prices were slashed.

12. Giving you ghastly mall-rat jewelry that you saw on his sister the week before.

13. Waiting until February 13 to make plans with you.

14. Taking you anywhere that serves two-for-one meals.

15. Inviting you out for an evening with him... and his mother.

The infamous JC Penny's Doghouse ad:

My Response video:

1 comment:

  1. I have never obsessed over Valentines. Am I odd for a woman?