Saturday, August 29, 2009

A feminist wedding

Ellie Levenson is a feminist writer for the Times Online. In the article below Ellie describes how she attempted to reconcile her desire for a husband and a wedding while maintaining the ideological purity of feminism.

What is fascinating is despite her ideology, Ellie secretly desires a happy home life based on traditional roles. For example, she wants her boyfriend to propose to her, not the other way around. Unfortunately, her ideology causes her to sabotage her relationship with her boyfriend/husband. Instead of looking at a relationship as a mutually loving partnership, Ellie sees a relationship as a political power play. And, as such, she is constantly demanding that her husband assume the submissive position.

Feminism has caused a role reversal in so many relationships. Women are now assuming the masculine and dominate roles, and men are becoming feminized and submissive. And when such a role reversal happens both the man and the woman become miserable. Biology will always trump ideology.


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  2. It is interesting why men marry women like these -- perhaps the man is a natural submissive who is looking for more of a dominatrix type? These types of men do exist, in relatively small numbers. I'd had to think that this guy, like Mr. Jessica Valenti, is a natural submissive who is looking to surrender control over his life to a woman. If that is the case, the relationship could work, even if she doesn't consciously see herself as the dominant party --> feminists often confuse "equality" with de facto female domination, so it might go lost on her, really, while be satisfying for him --> in other words he may experience it as submission to her, while she experiences it as "feminist equality".

    There are other red flags here, too: getting married after knowing someone for less than a year? Ummm, great way to stack the odds *against* you from the beginning.

    The interesting point, though, is that most women do not think like the writer, and obsess over every detail of a wedding from a de-constructed feminist perspective. However, it does infect almost all women's perspectives of marriage and relationships in more subtle ways. A fair amount of today's "shit testing" is feminist in nature, for example.

  3. However, when you have waited long enough for someone who would care about you and no one arrives, it's time to get serious about making your own money and being your own husband.