Wednesday, September 10, 2014

President Barack Obama ISIL Speech



President Obama outlines his strategy to fight ISIS/ISIL. It pretty much consists of:

1. Bombing people
2. Give weapons to "moderate" rebels

This is the strategy we have used for the last 50 years. No reason to stop now.

The bombing provides some really kick-ass videos of bridges and trucks exploding. America - don't fuck with us! This makes us feel so good after a night of watching football and drinking beer. It also helps the economy by providing more "defense" contracts. After all, all these cool missiles and drones don't come free.

And sending weapons to the "good" Muslims helps to prepare for the next generation of terrorists. For mysteriously, the "good" Muslim rebels always seem to morph into tomorrow's terrorist organizations.  But no one is really to blame. How could anyone predict that such a thing could happen?

So we fund the Syrian rebels to fight Assad. We need to fight Assad as he is the next Hitler. If we don't arm the rebels, Syrian tanks will soon be rolling across Kansas armed with nerve gas.

But then these "good" Muslim rebels go off the rails and start chopping off heads. This would usually not be an issue. But as these videos were loaded to YouTube, it is something that could not be ignored by the President. So now we plan to arm some other Muslims to fight the Muslims that we previously armed to fight Syria.






2 comments:

  1. I wish the Prez would just play golf all the time rather than be in the White House. When he is out playing golf he is not screwing up our lives and our children's future. Be funny and appropriate if 100 years from now historians would say that America was saved by the game of golf.

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